Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Whoops! (revised, revamped, and still ugly)

I drive around the streets
an inch away from weeping,
ashamed of my sentimentality and
possible love.
A confused old man driving in the rain
wondering where the good luck
“I Made a Mistake,” Charles Bukowski

Comcast 'Boy': Even Peavy gets embarrassed over CSN's fussing. And the Bulldog don't embarrass easy.
As CSN renews its battle royale over who is Jake Peavy’s BFF, a gentle reminder to get off the Bulldog’s nut and pay better attention to the other guys on the roster:

Danks out of sling, expected to return during spring training
September 8, 2012 2:22:29 PM CDT
Jordan Danks is now out of his sling after undergoing shoulder surgery. He hopes to be throwing the ball again in December so he can be ready to return to the field during spring training.Read more…
I can just picture Chuck Garfien at the game last night telling Dan Hayes, “hey, I’m gonna write on Peavy tonight,” and a tiny tear streaming down the proud ex-San Diegan’s face. Immediately, both men text the Bulldog to see who wins drooling dibs for the day.

Best I can tell, the headline for Chuck's "Sox Drawer" originally was Medical miracle Peavy excited for stretch run and was toned down to, simply, Sox savior.

Hey, I’m all for giving Peavy his due. And Hayes worked late on Monday night to overcome a clunky lede and put together a nice Jose Quintana piece.

But this Padre pride stuff is a bit silly. Next you’re gonna tell me San Diego’s Shell Answer Man was touting Adrian Gonzalez as the best hitter in baseball, like a day before he was waive-traded to the Dodgers…

Wither MVP?
It's hard to keep up with ESPNChicago's Bruce Levine. He's their "Chicago baseball reporter" with web chats by the dozen to support his ubiquitousness, but man, he can't decide on a White Sox MVP.

A month ago Levine was touting A.J. Pierzynski as not just the White Sox MVP, but a viable candidate for most valuable in the entire league. Something about how "clutch" his hits were--when statistical analysis actually pointed to him trailing South Side clutch hitters, somewhere down in the Adam Dunn basement of shame.

A.J. must be wondering what he did to bug Bruce, because now the (somewhat) clear team MVP is Alex Rios

Give Levine credit for getting it right the second time. But points are docked, as usual, for the awful writing and editing of ESPN.

Awful lede? Check.
CHICAGO -- There have been many important contributions to the Chicago White Sox's success story this season. You can probably make a case for any number of players being the key to the team’s position atop the American League Central. 

Dissonant and contradictory premise? Check.
These days as you walk around the clubhouse, one name comes up more often than others. 
"Alex Rios and (A.J.) Pierzynski have been their best players,” Tigers manager Jim Leyland said. “No question Rios has been big for them all season." 

(It's not bad journalism to cleave Leyland's quote to suit your premise, Bruce. Otherwise, you confuse your readers.)

Incongruous grammar? Check.
Rios is coming off his worst season in 2011 when he batted .227 with 13 home runs and 44 RBIs, but he has rebounded this season with 23 home runs and 85 RBIs to go along with a .293 batting average going into play on Tuesday. 

(No, Rios is not "coming off his worst season in 2011," he is "coming off his worst season, in 2011, when he ...")

And in a classic cover-your-ass move—and again, A.J. is left wondering what he did to anger Chicago's baseball writer—Levine pays lip service to Mike Trout and Miguel Cabrera but shoehorns in Rios as a "top-five" MVP candidate.

Hyperbole at ESPN? Check.

And in developments outside of Chicago…
It was bad enough that team president David Samson made references to the Miami Marlins being "all-in" for 2012 (in a March 5 SI article that proved 1. He's not an astute observer of the American League and 2. However improbably, "all-in" as a rallying cry wasn't tramped six feet down permanently by the prodigious clodhoppers of Adam Dunn and Alex Rios). But then, he acceded to a dreaded, can-only-bite-you-in-the-ass "forecast":
The best case over the next decade, says [Miami Marlins team president David] Samson: “We’re one of the top seven powerhouses in major league baseball. Consistently running a top-third payroll. Making smart decisions, competing for division titles every year and winning one World Series at a minimum, but making the playoffs at least 60, 70 percent of the time.” And in the worst case? “We lose 90 games, draw 1.3 million and people need umbrellas because the roof leaks.”
 The Marlins will break two million fans, but sit at 12th of 16 NL teams in attendance.

The Marlins are on pace to go 72-90.

No word on the need for umbrellas, but, yeah.

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